..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
