I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize