eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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