Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
