i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
