it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Sober January is a disaster.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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