i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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