"it" just moved
my sisters under your porch take her home
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
