think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
