I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
