areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
