God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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