and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
