no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
