The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
