Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.

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(515): View more from Iowa

the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point

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(703): View more from Virginia

keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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(217): View more from Illinois

haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I hate who I am becoming

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well

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