Sry I called you an 8
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
