High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
