i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
