I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
