well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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