Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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