32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
