meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
