bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
