put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I touched a dick in church today
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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