this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Couch. On fire.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
