hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
