franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
