apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
handjob tips. give me some.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
