Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
