They should really pass out barf bags in church
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
