K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
