after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
