I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
