Farmville is her only friend.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
