I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
