So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
