Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
