weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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