Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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