I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
