Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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