haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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