he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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