Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
