If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My nipple is on Facebook.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
