Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
me + whiskey = a bad person
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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