U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
