I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Did I show you my penis last night?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
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