How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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