a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
