we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So much Jack, so little girl.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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