if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
