Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
