"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
