two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
