woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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