When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize