try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
