They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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