she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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