And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
