Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
