i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
