everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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