You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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