brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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