I must be too annoying 4 u.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize