Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
