Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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