dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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