i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
