When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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