So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
