8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
